Spoken Word: Hope in the Wilderness | Ai Sosa

TBN UK Holy Week Reflections.

I remember when this faith was Eden
A tree by flowing streams
In and out of season green with glowing leaves
Bearing fruit by the spirit, knowing peace
The voice of God would speak in the blowing breeze
In soil healthy enough to sow in seeds
Without fear of choking weeds
These roots drove in deep
Prosperity was my portion
Strength showing scenes
There was no sign of me growing weak
Till doubt spoke in speech of serpent
Tongue twisting truth with a deceitful accent
I couldn’t decipher with discernment
His garden hoe questions sough to uproot
And put me in soil by footpaths
Chuck me amongst rocks and thorns
“If you’re a child of God, why isn’t the bread of life sufficient enough for you to quench your appetite for sin?”
“If you are a child of God, why didn’t your Psalm 91 prayers stop the death of your loved ones and friends?”
“If you are a child of God, why do you still seem so broke and broken?"
Your God promises to bless and heal you right?
And in this still night
My faith began to erode
The wind died
The leaves dried
The weeds climbed
And with an ill sight
I saw beauty in deceit
My heart became arid
And this barren mouth indulged too
Did God really say He would never leave or forsake me?
And if he did
Then why does every prayer call returned unanswered?
Why does my life seem so shallow and unfruitful?
Why are death and fear my hopeful expectations now?
Why do these questions feel like my only companions?
It's only so long until i fall out on temptation Lord
I’m dying of thirst on sinking sand
Aren’t you meant to be fountain from solid rock?
Or do i have to strike at you like Moses to get a response ?
I'm stuck wondering if mercy can travel across wastelands as vast as this
And meet me in the middle of this barreness and abandonment
Feel like there's nothing left for me to do
But waste away like everything else around me has
Let my soul be soldier on the battlefield
As i convince my heart that this is hope's no mans land
But the truth is
Even with a voice as hoarse as mine is
I can still only help but be Job and John
The voice of one crying out in the wilderness for salvation
And just then
In burning sands
I see Him weeping with me
The lifter of valleys
The leveller of mountains
The smoother of rough places
He said the weapons fashioned against me wouldn’t prosper
But He never said that they wouldn’t come
So where satan sought to usher me into hell
God sought to show me that my weaknesses are just evidence of His strength
That when i walk through the darkest valleys and scorching deserts
They won’t consume me
That the wilderness isn’t strong enough to bury a faith
Purchased by a once dead now resurrected saviour
And to Him be all the glory
And honour
And power
Now and forevermore
Amen

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