Wiener Patrol -- Chief Smoking Elk | Experimental Country Western Music

This idea just came to me randomly as I finished writing "Wiener Patrol." I know everyone is obsessed with inclusivity these days, and, well...I figured a light-hearted song about a Native American barbecue master would be both humorous and highly original. Am I wrong? Now, of course history would never be this kind to the Comanches, but in an alternate AI universe, it is totally possible U.S. troops would give a pass in exchange for some savory, grilled elk sausages. Stupid? Yeah. But sometimes inspiration is a strange thing. I just write this shit...who knows where it comes from?

Oh, and just to let you know: I'm totally going to write at least ten more country and bluegrass songs that revolve around hotdogs, sausages and barbecue in the Wild West that never was. Shit, maybe I'll even do one for Vegans. I already have a few ideas...





Lyrics:
(Verse 1)
In the dusty plains of Texas, where the tumbleweeds roam free,
Lived an Indian chief named Smoking Elk, a grilling prodigy.
He was known to smoke and grill with supernatural skill,
His jerky and his sausages were all from the Elk he'd kill.
With a big fire in his heart and secret spices in his hand,
He turned those lonesome plains into a barbecue lovin' land.

(Chorus)
Chief Smoking Elk, the Comanche's pride,
Many treaties made by his fireside.
He'd grill for peace, and to keep the land,
His villagers knew they were in good hands.
From dawn till dusk, his fire would blaze,
History made in that smoky haze.

(Verse 2)
The local garrison knew about the chief's culinary fame,
They would trade their peace and quiet for his sausages of game.
He said "Don't take our land, don't hurt us--y'all just go away."
The soldiers replied, "keep us well fed, and we'll do anything you say!"
For the taste of his sweet meat, they would all march 'bout three miles,
and with bellies full of sausage, would return with great big smiles

(Chorus)
Chief Smoking Elk, the Comanche's pride,
Many treaties made by his fireside.
He'd grill for peace, and to keep the land,
His villagers knew they were in good hands.
From dawn till dusk, his fire would blaze,
History made in that smoky haze.

(Bridge)
Now you might think a warrior's life was all he ever knew,
But Smoking Elk had a passion for cooking tasty barbecue.
With a secret blend of spices and a fire burning bright,
He'd make those elk sausages a Texan's true delight.
His legend grew with every single sizzling bite,
Both villagers and soldiers all lined up every night.

(Verse 3)
One bright and sunny day, a rival chief rode into camp,
Said, "I cook better meat, and I've come to prove who's champ."
But Chief Smoking Elk just smiled, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Let's see you try, my friend," he said, "I'd like to see you try!"
Smoke in the air and roaring flames--'twas a showdown of their meat
Beaten down, the other chief frowned and left crying in defeat

(Chorus)
Chief Smoking Elk, the Comanche's pride,
Many treaties made by his fireside.
He'd grill for peace, and to keep the land,
His villagers knew they were in good hands.
From dawn till dusk, his fire would blaze,
History made in that smoky haze.

(Outro)
So raise a glass to Smoking Elk, the baddest of the bunch,
His sausages so tasty, squirtin' juice with every crunch.
In the heart of the West, where grills and legends meet,
Chief Smoking Elk, may your big sausages stay sweet
'cause With every savory bite, your tale is passed along,
O Bless your soul, may your flames burn forever strong.



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Lyrics by MacDonkulous (2024)
Music by Suno AI